Macgruber taught many things to us, with the most notable being the throat rip. He also taught us about the upper decker. You may be wondering what an upper-decker is. It doesn’t have anything to do with baseball, and you won’t be able to reach first base if this is done at your girlfriend’s place.
How to make an Upper Decker?
Macgruber explains that Upper Decker is when you go to the toilet’s water tank and spit on it. This is best done when you are at a lame party where the host or hostess seems to be a raging fucking ahole. This is a step-by-step guide on how to pull off this trick and how to get away.
Step 1: You are at the party, and things are not going according to plan
Enjoy the amusement of eating all the hors-d’oeuvres. They all. This is important because of the sheer volume of the Easton Hockey Sticks upper deck. This rule of thumb is that the more savory the hors-d’oeuvres, then the higher the quality of the upper decker. Go for the oysters and Limburger cheeseballs. Gungy food is the best option, and a red Solo can of cheap draft beer can help to lubricate it.
Step 2: Reconnaissance, preparation for ducking out.
After the party has kicked off, you’ll need to grab everything you need for a quick trip to the master bathroom. You don’t have the time to scroll through your Facebook feeds, so leave your cell phone at home unless you are looking to record video evidence for bragging points. You won’t have the time to read Sunday papers so be ready to go. Do some research before you go.
Step 3: Distract upper decker yourself and go to the target bathroom
A book could be written about the best diversion techniques. This is where you may need to have an accomplice. You could, for example, stage a fake fight with your girlfriend and then take it to the backroom. If they believe you are fighting with your girlfriend, no one will bother. You might also consider suggesting a beer run. You could say, “I’m going get more beer and will be back soon.” You will be missed by no one.
Step 4: Secure the bathroom upper decker and get ready for delivery
Lock the door. The lid of the water storage tank is on the toilet. Carefully remove it and lock the door. If possible, you can use a towel or place the towel on a mat on the ground. Do not let your guard down by making too much noise. Once you have secured your reception and are ready to go Penguin Style, you can start wearing your pants Penguin Style. Mini skirted ladies or kilt-wearing Scotsmen will have an advantage. For the ladies, remove your stilettos and take off any shoes before mounting the upper decker platform.